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The stated purpose of BNASAA is to explore Bahá’í principles and concepts related to AIDS, human sexuality, addictions, abuse and other challenging personal issues, and to consider questions and concerns that arise in the application of these principles to Bahá’í community development.
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In November 1989, the Bahá’í International Health Agency, a committee of the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of Canada, sponsored a conference in Montréal, Québec on AIDS and the Bahá’í community. This initiated a series of consultations on Bahá’í principles and issues related to AIDS and human sexuality. A group of individual Bahá’ís met with Counsellor Wilma Ellis in June 1992, to determine how best to give ongoing support and encouragement to these consultations. As a result, the Bahá’í International Health Agency formally recognized and sponsored the establishment of the Institute on AIDS, Sexuality and Addictions (IASA), and appointed a coordinating committee.
As consultations continued, it became clear that there were many other issues that were important to address as part of these sessions, particularly the issue of abuse. In 1995, abuse was added as an explicit focus, and the name of the initiative was changed to the Bahá’í Network on AIDS, Sexuality, Addictions and Abuse (BNASAA). At this time official sponsorship of the Network was transferred to the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of Canada. In the spring of 1997 a partner organization was started in Québec called Réseau Courage (Courage Network) specifically to address similar issues for the French-speaking community. In fall of 1999, the BNASAA Coordinating Committee was appointed as an official committee of the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of Canada, with membership made up of Bahá’ís from both Canada and the United States.
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To facilitate deepening in the Writings related to the issues in question.
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To allow participants concerned directly or indirectly by these issues to share their experiences in a safe environment and receive love and support.
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To facilitate the exchange of information.
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To stimulate reflection on the part of all participants on their own attitudes regarding these issues as well as their notions of the role of the Bahá’í community.
Specific objectives
After having participated in a BNASAA activity, it is anticipated that the majority of participants will feel that
they have a better appreciation and knowledge of the issue in question, and
their concept of the issue and its relation to the Bahá’í community has been challenged and deepened.
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The primary aim in holding BNASAA sponsored activities is to provide a nurturing environment that is spiritually and emotionally safe for all participants. We adhere to several general principles: to individual and social transformation. Network activities and materials do not focus on discussing the validity of Bahá’í laws or the possibility of getting them changed either now or in the future. Bahá’u’lláh’s love and transformative vision for humanity provides a basis for transcending issues that are often experienced as difficult and complex.
Healing environment
The Network’s goal is to provide a loving and supportive environment in which participants can share experiences in an atmosphere of confidentiality and provide support for each individual’s healing and spiritual journey. Judgments about good or bad processes or discussions about right or wrong approaches have no place. Each participant, whether health professionals, members of Bahá’í Institutions, or individuals struggling with particular issues, is asked to manifest an attitude of loving support, and to actively participate in creating a non-judgmental and healing environment.
Confidentiality
Because of the sensitive nature of the issues discussed at BNASAA gatherings, and because many people are dealing directly with these issues, it is important to maintain confidentiality at all times outside of the group. If participants are moved by someone’s story and would like to use it in any way, this should be discussed with the concerned individual. Participants should never assume that another person’s story can be shared, no matter how open that individual may appear to be in the meeting. Due to the small and intimate nature of the Bahá’í community, repeating stories, even without identifying the person, may unintentionally reveal their identity, and may cause personal difficulties for that individual.
Active protection
Unity within the Bahá’í community is important in protecting all BNASAA activities. Each step in the process of developing the Network has been taken with the full knowledge and support of Bahá’í Institutions. Although it has never been necessary to date, meeting organizers, in consultation with representatives from the Auxiliary Board and or members of the BNASAA coordinating committee reserve the right to protect the process and the participants. Disruptive individuals, acting in a threatening or judgmental manner or challenging Bahá’í laws or Institutions may be asked to leave the meeting.
Personal support
At each conference we ensure that there are designated individuals who are available for personal consultation and support if, at any point, you feel you need to talk with someone outside of the larger group. In addition to the conference organizers, there is usually an Auxiliary Board member or representative and often a trained therapist who has agreed to serve as “counsellor on call”. The conference organizers can let you know who the designated individuals are. You may also wish to seek out other members of the group who you feel to be supportive and helpful to discuss any issues that you may feel uncomfortable talking about in group sessions.
The clear
focus of Network activities is to share the love of Bahá’u’lláh for
humanity, and to offer individual encouragement and support in the
personal struggles that result in attempting to understand and accept
that love.
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The coordinating committee stimulates, encourages and coordinates individual initiatives, the development and dissemination of materials, assists in communication among interested individuals and Bahá’í communities, and provides a framework linking these activities with Bahá'í Institutions. Either individuals or task forces can plan and carry out activities supporting the purpose of the Network.
BNASAA has no financial resources of its own, but receives a small budget from the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá'ís of Canada. BNASAA activities are carried out by volunteers. All activities planned in conjunction with the Network must be self-supporting through registration fees, contributions, or scholarships. A small deputization fund is available when required to assist individuals, and it is hoped that each new activity will generate sufficient funds to replenish the scholarship fund so that future activities can also be supported in this way.
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Guidelines for workshops
Over the course of holding workshops, participants in the BNASAA process have found that there are certain guidelines for consultation and personal conduct that are important to understand and refer to during the course of a workshop experience. These guidelines are offered for your consideration and reflection and should be treated as general principles rather than rigid rules.
Many ways to participate
In general, as a workshop participant you should never feel that you need to do anything that you are not comfortable doing. In any activity you are free to pass, take a turn later or simply remain quiet. Later on, if you feel like sharing, you can always join in.
Breaks
If you find that you are uncomfortable in the group at any time you should feel free to quietly excuse yourself and take a break. If you feel like excusing yourself there is no need to explain or even to comment, since it is often the case that we may not know at the time exactly what our concern is. If you feel like you need to discuss something with someone, feel free to ask for support from the therapist on call, the Auxiliary Board Member or any of the session organizers. In all cases, feel free to return to the group or participate in discussion at a later time.
Avoiding “cross-talk” and “advice”
When we gather in conference sessions our purpose in consultation is to speak from our own experience and focus on our own issues. It is important in all consultation to avoid “cross-talk,” which means directing comments to other individuals or giving feedback on other people’s comments unless invited to do so. We also avoid giving “advice” or offering opinions on how others should deal with specific situations, Instead we suggest that each person focus on their own experience and share from the heart about their personal insights in dealing with a particular issue or situation.
The issue of touch
An area that can be particularly sensitive in sessions like this is the issue of touching or hugging. Because of our widely diverse experiences in situations like this, not all people are comfortable with unsolicited touching or hugging. There are also times in which we may feel strong emotions that bring tears and which may cause others to want to hug or console us. Sometimes tears are a healthy part of the process and hugging or embracing may interrupt the process of experiencing the feelings that are occurring. At other times a hug or embrace during an emotional time may be very welcome and important. The general principle is to ask whether or not a person is comfortable with touching or hugging before you just assume it’s okay. A simple question like “Would you like a hug?” is usually sufficient. If you are not comfortable being touched and find that someone is not aware of that, feel free to tell them that touching or hugging is uncomfortable and that you would prefer to relate in other ways. In all these situations it is important to understand that the reaction is usually not personal and relates to prior experiences and comfort levels.
Bahá’í standards of conduct
In all BNASAA activities it is assumed that participants will comply with the overall Bahá’í standards of conduct including refraining from use of alcohol and drugs, observing appropriate levels of modesty in behaviour and dress and refraining from inappropriate sexual activity. If the meeting is held at a Bahá’í facility, then all ground-rules of that facility need to be observed. If the event is held at another facility, all must respect the requests of our hosts.
Physical expressions of intimacy
Although the issue of sexual activity is included in the principle of Bahá’í standards of conduct, we have found that it has been helpful to be explicit about physical intimacy. There have been several instances at workshops in which physical intimacy between workshop participants, particularly if they are of the same gender, has created problems either for the individuals or others. It is important to understand that workshop participants come from a wide variety of backgrounds and, just as not everyone may be comfortable with issues of drug or alcohol addiction, not everyone is comfortable with physical intimacy between members of the same sex. In general, physical expressions of intimacy between participants in the workshop can be very problematic, even if it takes place completely in private. Even a seemingly innocuous exchange of hugs may be uncomfortable or confusing, especially if one of the members is in a vulnerable or emotional state of mind. For these reasons we ask all participants to err on the side of moderation when it comes to physical intimacy.
Intense emotional experiences
In workshops of this type, particularly ones that involve discussions of abuse or abuse situations, participants sometimes experience intense memories or “flashbacks” of earlier experiences that can be highly emotional and even painful. This is a normal part of the recovery process and is often a very good sign of healing. But at the time it occurs, the memory can be frightening and somewhat disorienting. If you are experiencing something of this nature please make contact with the counsellor on call or with another member of the group who you know and trust. Share what’s going on and work out a plan to do what you need to do to protect and nurture yourself during this time.
Participants in abuse situations
In conferences that deal with abuse issues there are many individuals who have been participants in abuse situations, often as the targets or “survivors” of abuse and sometimes as the initiator or “perpetrator” of abuse. It is our goal to make this a safe environment for everyone who has experienced abusive situations to be able to share and learn from others. This can sometimes lead to very uncomfortable situations, and, in fact, many healing workshops on abuse will not mix survivors and perpetrators in the same conference or workshop. If you have been the initiator of abuse and feel that this will be a topic you would like to share about, please speak with the conference and/or workshop organizers before taking part in any activities that may involve intimate sharing. If you have been the target or survivor of abuse and you feel uncomfortable in any way with the participation of others in the consultation, please share this also with conference and workshop organizers. It is our experience that both these needs can be met in BNASAA activities, but it requires careful consideration ahead of time and should include a plan to gain group consensus on how to handle these types of consultations.
Transformative vision
These guidelines suggest that there are many issues that may arise in the course of this conference that can be perplexing or disturbing. It is our experience, however, that the transformative vision of the Cause can illuminate even the most tense or difficult situations. We are encouraged to keep this illuminating vision in our hearts and to turn its light onto every situation that arises so that we can nurture growth and transformation and foster the spirit of love and unity that is the essence of Bahá’u’lláh’s gift to each of us.
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Suggestions for leading a BNASAA sharing circle
A sharing circle is a structured form of consultation that has been used to open many BNASAA activities. The opening circle is designed to provide a safe and structured activity to facilitate the sharing of intimate issues and concerns as part of group consultation. The introductory statement explains the overall process and structure of the sharing circle. In addition to those guidelines, facilitators of a sharing circle may wish to consider the following guidelines:
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Have everyone sit in a closed circle with no extra seats and with no one sitting behind anyone else. (If the group is too large for a single closed circle, you may wish to consider dividing the group into two or more groups.)
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Welcome everyone, introduce yourself and read the Introductory Statement to explain the process. Ask if there are any questions or concerns. Then begin with prayers. Pray as long as necessary to give each person an opportunity to feel comfortable. Pray until finished – it sets the tone.
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Begin the sharing with a person who has participated in BNASAA activities or who will open up from the heart easily.
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Have people introduce themselves when they begin to speak.
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During the sharing, if someone forgets about the structure of passing the “object”, gently remind the group that only the person with the “object” has the floor and that there will be further opportunities to share later in the session.
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Time requirements are always a sensitive issue in a sharing circle, particularly if it is being used as an opening circle at the beginning of a workshop. It is our experience that having ample opportunity to speak can be one of the most powerful experiences an individual can have, particularly if this is their first conference. It is also true that it is important to preserve a sense of time structure, particularly for meal times. Given the size of the group, the background of participants and the mix of experience with previous Network activities, you should determine some basic guidelines around how time will be used. Often just raising the issue at the beginning of the circle and asking participants to use their own good judgment will be sufficient.
Introductory Statement for a Sharing Circle
A structure for consultation that was used at the Montréal conference in November 1989, and which has been used at many conferences since then, is the sharing circle. The process is adapted from a Native American process called a talking circle. In a sharing circle, an object is passed around that allows the person holding the object to speak. In Montréal we used an eagle feather, but we often use a prayer book or some other designated object. The object is very special and gives the person holding it the power to speak.
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Only the person who holds the object has the floor. When you do not hold the object, you may not speak - only listen. This gives everyone an opportunity to speak and listen.
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The object is passed around the circle in order (usually clockwise) since it is less confusing this way. You may pass when it is your turn to speak. You can always have an opportunity to speak later if you wish to.
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If you need to leave feel free to do so in a quiet and courteous manner. Many people may get tired or feel it necessary to leave the discussion for a few minutes. Don’t feel you need to explain and feel free to return to the circle at any time.
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Time is often a concern, but we try to avoid setting time limits for individual sharing. If this is your first BNASAA conference, you may find you have a lot to share with the group. If you have been to many conferences you may find your need for sharing is briefer. We can see that from the size of the group and the time allotted for that session that time is limited. But we also know that the sharing circle can often be the most important part of the conference and we don’t want to damage that experience by artificial time limits. So we ask each individual to be aware of this issue and to pace their sharing accordingly.
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This is not a confession, but a sharing from the heart. If you feel uncomfortable in any way you do not have to share or participate.
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All sharing is strictly confidential and may not be discussed outside the circle. Our goal is to allow each person to share openly and freely and the principle of confidentiality is essential to maintaining this freedom.
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Are there any questions or concerns? If not, we will begin with prayers and then begin the circle.
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